In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
