if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
