new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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