before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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