He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
