are you still at the devil's house?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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