wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize