Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
im six kinds of drunk right now
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
