Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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