the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize