I seem to have left my pride at pride
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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