once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
