He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize