Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
tell me about the fingering
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