I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
