yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
