He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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