I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
