I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
