went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
