We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
