i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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