Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize