the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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