Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
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She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
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He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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