something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
