What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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