I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Couch. On fire.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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