So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
