1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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