Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
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