I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
