Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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