dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
