covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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