He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
