im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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