I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
