can u get pink eye on your cock?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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