your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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