Why are handjobs necessary in class?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
