dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
