Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I came so hard my ears popped.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
