U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
