I wish I could punch you in the face.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
