Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
