didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You smell like stripper and shame
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
