What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize