oh god the rape fog is back!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
