I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
