Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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