There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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