I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
her facebook's as public as her vagina
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
