so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
