Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
