did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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