yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
