Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
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