he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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