Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you mean i was at the winter classic?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
