I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
