On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I am available for nakedness
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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