I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
